Victim - No More!

How Sarah survived being teased

The following, an all too often school story, was the true inspiration for Simon's Hook: A Story About Teases and Put-Downs by Karen Gedig Burnett.

Sarah's first couple of years in school were hard. An automobile accident had left her
struggling to walk and talk. By the time she arrived at school she had made a great deal of progress but her speech and coordination were still somewhat impaired. Her classmates noticed immediately. Most were respectful, but others were not.

Sarah became an easy target for teases. Teachers tried to shield her. The teasers were punished. But Sarah continued to complain about their actions, especially the actions of one boy named David. Sarah complained that he made fun of her, that he called her names, that he copied her walk. School personnel watched carefully and David was often disciplined for his inappropriate behavior. But soon it became apparent that all David had to do was look at Sarah and she would complain. That's not to say that David didn't tease her, because he did, said school counselor Karen Gedig Burnett.  He knew just how to push Sarah's buttons and he loved it. He loved having that much control over her.

Sarah saw herself as a victim. When you see yourself as a victim, you're basically saying, ‘It's all just happening to me and there's nothing I can do to make it better,' said Burnett.  That is a weak and powerless position to be in. Sarah often came to Ms. Burnett's office for help, and Burnett tried to help Sarah learn ways to handle these teases. Sarah was so sensitive that she had difficulty ignoring any bothersome behavior, said Mrs. Burnett. So she reacted to everything.   That is until Mrs. Burnett came to school dressed in fishing gear.

I kept wondering ‘How can I teach Sarah and other students not to bite?' Then I came up with an idea, said Burnett. I compared teases to fishing hooks and dangled them in front of her and her classmates.  Then I taught them how not to bite. It was the same things I had been
trying to teach Sarah already, just presented differently. It provided a very graphic example for the abstract ideas we had discussed.

What did Sarah and the others learn:
  Do little or nothing, don't react to the hook
  Agree with the hook
  Distract or Change the Subject
  Laugh about?or make fun of?the hook, but not the fisherman
  and
  Swim on the other side of the pond, away from the hooks.

Sarah loved the activity, but it didn't help right away. Sometimes it takes a while for ideas to sink in, said Burnett.

A couple of weeks later Sarah came crying to her teacher. David made fun of my drawing, Sarah whined. Her teacher looked at her and calmly replied, Oh, and you bit. That's when it clicked. Sarah immediately stopped crying and said, Well I'm not going to bite any more.

The fishing analogy worked so well for Sarah and other students that Mrs. Burnett decided to write a story based on this idea.

Simon's Hook, A Story About Teases and Put-Downs, (© 2000, GR Publishing, $14.95 hardcover with jacket/ISBN: 0-9668530-0-8; $8.95 softcover/ISBN 0-9668530-1-6, www.grandmarose.com) is about a boy who is teased. A helpful neighbor comes to the rescue with a story about fish who learn not to bite at teasing hooks. The illustrations are so colorful and clever, said Burnett. You see something different every time you look. I'm pleased that the book is both educational and entertaining.

And what happened to Sarah? Well, today Sarah is a typical fourth grader. I don't get teased much any more, she says proudly. I think it's because I don't bite. When asked what was different what changed, Sarah replied, I did.

GR Publishing pub@grandmarose.com (831)335-5366

Grandma Rose's Neighborhood 2002