“Is my child smart enough?” “Will they succeed?” “Will they ever grow up?”
“Will they find their talents?” “What are their talents?” “Why can’t they be more like….”
These are concerns all parents share at one time or another. Parents want their child to
succeed, and if they see them struggle or stumble or even skip or dawdle toward the future they become afraid. “We’re afraid that our child won’t prosper or live up to our expectations,” said Karen Gedig Burnett, elementary school counselor and author of Katie’s Rose:
A Tale of Two Late Bloomers. “We’re afraid we will be judged by our child’s performance and that their struggle shows we are in some way failing as a parent. Our own fears get in our way of accepting children just as they are.”
Burnett suggests that instead of focusing on your child’s progress you focus on your own feelings and actions.
• Show them RESPECT: Respect their interests, their talents, their dreams.
• SUPPORT them: Support who they are and help them follow their dreams.
• Believe in them: have FAITH that they possess all that they need to find
their place in this world.
“Children are like flowers,” said Burnett. “They bloom in different environments, at
different times, and are different shades. Each style and color has its own beauty.” It’s also important to recognize there are many seasons in a lifetime. A flower that shows little color in one season may be the grand champion of another.
It’s a parent’s job to nourish and encourage their children, not to decide who or what their child will be, or judge which style or path has more value. “This doesn’t mean that all behavior is acceptable,” said Burnett. “We need to guide our children and hold them accountable for their actions. But at the same time we need to respect the individual child and help them find and develop their talents. Our children will be the best they can be when we support who they are.”
If your child marches to the beat of their own drum; find their rhythm and clap to their beat.
GR Publishing pub@grandmarose.com (831)335-5366
Grandma Rose's Neighborhood 2002